As we bring our greatest intelligence to bear

on the business of living creatively and sustainably

it becomes essential that we pay attention

to how we treat the next generation.

What messages do we want to give to the world and to our children?

Our Brief

Caught between anxiety and excitement, men can be ambivalent about the birth process. As fathers we have the opportunity to make a conscious choice if we are to be anything other than bystanders. Earning the income and supporting the welfare of the family is what seems to naturally arise as a father’s useful contribution. Mothers-to-be are operating from an ever expanding physical, emotional and hormonal imperative. It is our perspective that men are also being asked to expand, yet without the obvious imperatives. A collective lack of understanding of the birthing time as a significant emotional event, combined with fathers not being the physical focus, can bring about feelings of powerlessness in men. This is when those we love most are facing their greatest challenges. Acknowledging there is something happening that is significant and deserving of attention and resources is what ‘Fathers-To-Be’ supports.

Right of Passage

Richard K Reed in his book 'Birthing Fathers' argues that birth is a 'rite of passage to fatherhood' and 'provides an important window for men to develop relationships with their children'. So obvious perhaps to us today; in recent times however men were told to wait outside the birthing room for news or just continue working and we will let you know “when it is over”. To speak of birth in this way also contains some subtleties worth exploring. A 'rite of passage' indicates a trial of some kind, a test to some extent, an initiation, a deepening which helps inform and mark the transition from one time in ones life to another. The time of birth is certainly that for fathers, from 'man to father' from 'father of one child to the father of two' etc, a transition takes place. It is this that is often not seen as important but rather as something difficult to be 'got over' and not celebrated or even acknowledged for the change it has wrought in the father.

For our child, birth is life’s first 'big' event. For adults it is probably the first big event of our grown lives. Birth and what we bring to it, for child and parent, is the opening moment in our shared lives. How can we honour its significance and as fathers do our best for ourselves and our families? As men, educators and fathers working closely with birth issues we have come to understand that for fathers to be able to bring a refined and valuable presence there may be some work to do. An aspect of this is remaining open in heart and mind and ready to respond to physical needs while supporting the pregnant, labouring and breastfeeding woman. It takes a bit of skill to be able to do this in the emotional and hormonal turmoil of pregnancy and birth and brings the benefit of a deeper level of bonding, commitment and satisfaction for the whole family.

Fathers Programme

In 'Fathers-To-Be' (F2B) programmes Patrick Houser and Elmer Postle are offering a place, for men only, to explore pregnancy and birth with a particular focus on the Transition to Fatherhood. F2B provides a unique opportunity for men to learn skills that will help them be truly present, and not just in the room, during this most powerful of times. When we speak of birth we generally encompass the 18 month period from conception to 9 months old.   

Expectant dads can now come together to learn more about pregnancy and the birth process than conventional antenatal classes offer. They will, in turn, learn how to bring a calm and useful presence to the birthing time and enable them to make creative and loving birth choices with their partners.

She is having a baby!

What am I supposed to be doing?

Fathers-To-Be!

Research shows:

Men who respond to

impending fatherhood

by reflecting on the way

they were parented

produce happier

children.